The Best Christmas Gift

It was quite a different Christmas season all together. I missed my Christmas Eve traditions- shopping at the mall with my mom (not because we needed anything, but because we are crazy), getting out in the hustle bustle, buying Christmas PJ's for Ben, Christmas Eve service at First North, spending time with my family eating our usual Christmas Eve dinner of oyster stew. I just missed the tradition!

I decorated our little hospital room, "home" as we had come to call it, with a small Christmas tree from Ben's nursery, paper chains that I made, and Baby Ben's stocking. I filled the air with my favorite holiday blend of essential oils, I did everything I could to make it feel "Christmassy."

Christmas Day we ate a "holiday feast" from the cafeteria downstairs. I have to say, I wasn't mad at that meal! It was pretty yummy, considering. I passed out small gift bags to the nurses, I wore my snowman shirt that I made, emphasizing my large pregnant belly, and everyone here got quite a kick out of it. I said "Merry Christmas" to anyone who would look my way. I was trying... hard... to make this a joyful Christmas, even though we were "stuck" here.

Katie and Bryan, some sweet, selfless friends, came to visit, along with some family members! We opened some gifts and that brightened our day. We all love gifts, right?!

Throughout the whole day (and day before) I was definitely uncomfortable, but I didn't think much of it. I've been uncomfortable since October 15th, the day we were first admitted to antepartum at MUSC. So I just kept on, determined to celebrate Jesus' birthday the best I could.

Meanwhile, Baby Ben had his own plans. That boy is determined, I tell ya! I was having contractions pretty consistently, but again, I didn't think much of it. As the day passed and evening fell I realized this wasn't normal. I called the doctor in, and I heard what I already knew he was going to say... "We are really shooting for Tuesday!" At that point, to say I did not like that doctor was an incredible understatement... I was in some serious pain.

I'm a pretty calm person, my voice level has been perfected due to years of teaching, I can remain calm in just about any situation. When I envisioned being in labor I totally thought I'd be calm, quietly enduring each one. HA!!!! Nope. Not me! I shouted, I cried, I said mean things, I apologized, etc... Yeah, definitely not what I envisioned, but hey, mommas out there-- you know where I'm coming from!

As the hours passed and the contractions became excruciating, he finally believed me that we were having our baby that night. I had been in active labor for  many hours, and I was dilated to a 5, all without any medication. My poor husband's hands were various shades from white to purple due to me squeezing them with every ounce of strength I had. He listened intently as I explained my not- so- nice feelings about this doctor, and he did his very best to encourage me through every contraction, keeping tabs on how frequent they were. When I thought I couldn't handle it anymore, he was so supportive. I desperately needed him, and he was amazing. Thanks babe, and sorry I yelled so much!

I was relieved that that silly doctor finally believed me. I didn't hate him quite as much. (Doc, if you're reading this, you know we're cool now, but I'm pretty sure you knew how I felt about you in those hormonal, painful hours!)

I was feeling so many different emotions... fear, excitement, panic, joy, elation, sadness, you name an emotion on that crazy spectrum and I bet you I was experiencing it. It was a crazy feeling.

I was finally rolled into the OR in Labor and Delivery at 11:04 pm (5 hours after my active labor began) where I was prepped and finally received that much needed pain medication in my back. Ben was dressed in his "dad scrubs," and he finally joined me in the room around 11:20. I have never been so excited to see that man, as funny as he looked in his blue booties, scrub pants and top, mask, and funny hair net. I needed his comfort and support!

They began the c-section, and I just constantly prayed. I had confidence in the doctors, they're the best in the world. I really wasn't worried about the baby being ready or being born too early. For some reason, that wasn't really a fear anymore at all. My biggest fear was that the membrane on his omphalocele ("o") was going to rupture. There was a super thin membrane holding all of his little organs in, and if that ruptured we were going to be facing some devastating situations. I prayed every second of that c-section... Every second.

At 11:48 pm on Christmas Night my amazing son (oh heavens, I can hardly read what I'm typing through the tears!) was born. My Benjamin Michael Peters was born! They lifted him for 1 second, and I could only see the top of his head. Then he was gone.

They rushed him out of the room with hushed voices and wide- eyed looks at one another. Only their eyes were showing, their masks and hair nets covered the rest, but it was obvious. I could see it all in their eyes, they just hadn't said what was wrong yet. But as they were flying out of the OR with my brand new baby boy that I could not see, I heard it. I heard the most gorgeous, beautiful, fulfilling noise I have ever heard. I heard my son cry. And I wept.

As they were finishing up with me, my husband got to go see Ben get cleaned up and prepped for NICU. As I'm lying on the table, they said they had some information for me. My heart sank. "Great, here it comes..." I thought to myself.

They told me that his membrane had been "nicked" during the birth, but it did not rupture. There was a small hole in the membrane. If it's kind of hard to imagine what I'm talking about, imagine blowing bubbles with a child. That bubble is about how thin the membrane is, somehow holding in his intestine, bowels, liver, and some of his stomach. They worked quickly to repair the small hole, and somehow, they did it.

Yes it had a small hole, but the membrane did not rupture!! Add that to the list of miracles that God has performed throughout this journey.

A little while later, I was in recovery, and my husband joined me. I have never seen my husband look like this. I have never seen him stand as tall as he was, I have never seen that sparkle in his eyes, I have never seen his face glowing quite like it was just then. This man was proud. He was a proud daddy, and it was such a precious sight. He melted my heart and I fell even more in love with that man than ever.

They finally let Baby Ben come in the room before they took him to NICU. We had about 3-4 minutes. He was laying in an incubator on his side, facing me. I have never felt so much love in my life. His eyes were wide, and we connected our eyes for just a second. I got to touch his foot, and I just wept.

There, in front of my eyes, was my miracle baby. The child that God had sustained for 2 months and 10 days in my incompetent womb was finally here. The child that so many people had been praying for was here. The child that I have felt kicking and turning in my belly for months was here. My son, my baby, my everything, was here.

God is writing the most beautiful story though Benjamin Michael. He has used my son in so many ways already while inside my tummy, and I can't imagine how He's going to use him here in this world. I am overwhelmed with gratitude and thanks to my God, who has had His hand on my son from day 1 of this long, rough journey. I am so excited to be able to be a part of Ben's love story that our Father is writing.



Father,
Thank You, thank You, thank You! Thank you for caring for Ben. Thank You for sustaining him in my incompetent tummy for so long. Thank You for working miracles. Thank You for protecting him, for protecting that bubble- thin membrane. Ben is Your child before he is mine. Please continue to write his story, it is already so beautiful. You have made Yourself so evident, so real, so obvious throughout this journey, and even more so now, as this miracle baby breathes on his own in this world. I pray that with every breath from his little lungs that You would be glorified. When people see my baby, may they see Your face, Your handy-work, Your power, Your miracles. Thank You, Jesus. I love you.

...
Our journey is far from over. In some ways, it's just beginning. Our next chapter is life in the NICU, and I have already learned that no matter how hard I attempted to prepare myself for this, it is impossible.

Thank you to those of you that have dedicated time to spend in prayer for Ben. Thank you for helping this miracle baby enter the world. As we see, the power of prayer is undeniable. Please continue to cover my little family in prayer. As we move to the next chapter of our journey, please cry out our names to our Lord, to our Jehovah Rapha.

Merry Christmas, friends! I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas. I certainly received the most amazing Christmas gift I could ever imagine!

Choose Joy,
Allison (Mommy)

BMP loves his pacie!

The day Ben can wear this shirt we will throw a HUGE party! 

He is truly our miracle baby!