Ben's Mom

Friday we had another round of appointments at MUSC. Things went well, nothing had really changed... Ben is still ready to make his entrance into the world, but we are continuing to pray he stays put at least a little longer! This day of appointments was filled with much less anxiety than the last visit! We got to see his sweet little face, and that always makes me so happy!

Friday was the first time I had felt good about myself in weeks. I had brushed my hair, even ran a flat iron through it, I had makeup on, and I had even put on real clothes! (Ladies that have been on bed rest, you know that's a big accomplishment!) We decided that since I felt good, we would go to dinner! A real dinner! Not propped up on our bed in a maternity tank top, not sitting on the couch with crazy wild hair that hadn't been brushed all day. A real dinner.... At a restaurant!

Ben chose a place that was close by, of course! We walked in to this place I had never been before and we ordered and we began a light hearted, fun date night that we so desperately needed. We giggled, we talked about Ben, we played, we joked. It was perfect.

During our wonderful meal a lady approached our table. A "stranger." She stopped and asked me quietly, "Are you Ben's mom?" Caught off guard, I said "Yes." She introduced herself, and we chatted for a couple of minutes. Somehow she had stumbled across our story, and she had been following Ben's journey and progress, and she recognized me from the pictures. She encouraged us in our long, rough journey.  I was so glad she came over to our table! She was kind hearted, and she spoke from a genuine heart. She had no idea how huge of an impact she would end up having on me, and to be honest, it hadn't sunk in all the way for me either.

I really appreciated all of her heart-felt encouragement, but the most powerful thing she said to me were the smallest of words, "Ben's mom." She asked me if I was Ben's mom.

I hung on to that.

It resonated in my mind for the next few hours.

Ben's mom.

Later that night, I sat down in my place, my peaceful gray glider in the nursery, and I looked at the new ultrasound pictures that were printed for us earlier that day. He is getting bigger; I looked at his precious face, his perfect hands, his strong little features. I hugged my belly tight, able to see his little kicks through my blue sweater night gown... and I was overcome with emotions. Yes, absolutely, I am Ben's mom. I am Ben's MOM!

In my 28 years, I have had many names, many roles:
believer
wife
teacher
daughter
friend
sister
etc...

But tonight for the first time I heard my new name from the lips of a stranger new friend. And that name was beautiful. That name was powerful. That name is so humbling... To know that God is allowing me, a nobody, to be a part of little Ben's huge miracle story.

Ben is already making an impact on people. He is already proving that this isn't all about science. My son is showing the world, already, that God is still creating miracles daily. Ben's story is going to be heard by many people.

I am truly not worthy of such an enormous role in Ben's incredible story. My body is supposedly not capable to endure this role, but I am so grateful He is giving me the opportunity to be a part of this. I'm just thankful to have the opportunity, this chance.

My new name is so beautiful, so wonderful.... It is So. Incredibly. Humbling.

Ben's mom. Ben's mom. That's me! I am Ben's mom, and I am filled with joy because I have been entrusted with that name.

Choose Joy,
Allison

My Precious Son-
You are a miracle. You are so incredibly loved by so many people. You are a gift. Your name is cried out before our Lord by many, many people. You are proof of the power of prayer.

You are going to have to overcome major physical hurdles as a tiny baby, but you can do it. You are fierce. You are a fighter.

One day you are going to move mountains. You are going to continue to defy all odds. You are so strong. You, my sweet baby boy, will be a living testimony of the power and strength of our Anchor. I can't wait to watch you walk your journey.

Keep fighting, Ben. Keep growing big and strong in my "incompetent body." Keep defying odds. You've got a beautiful journey ahead of you.

Momma loves you.